Thoughts Run Amuck

"Our thoughts take the wildest flight; even at the moment when they should arrange themselves in thoughtful order." ~~Lord Byron

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Sunday, September 7, 2008

the desire for more

I'm definitely at a place in my life where I no longer want to settle for the mundane, or even the comfortable in regards to my life and purpose!! God has me growing in ways I never have before. I believe, now, I am more open to Him changing me into what He desires. However, I feel like I'm still not "doing" enough to maintain, or acquire, all He has for me. Maybe that's been my problem all along? I keep thinking I need to be doing, when all God wants is for me to desire Him and sit still so that He can pour Himself within me. It just doesn't seem like it should be that easy though.

I know as I'm growing, I just can't help but want even MORE of Him. The desire is there and seems insatiable at times; I just don't know how to fill it. I can't seem to get enough of the Lord right now. And I like that feeling, but i'll admit, it also scares me. Am I up to the challenge? Can I be who I know is on the inside? God created me with an original intent for my life; but as life, with it's many ups and plethora of downs, bucked and kicked--by my own doing at times--I veered off the path. As I've pulled myself up and am heading in the right direction, I still have this nagging fear of, "what if my desire for more is not enough?" Or the dreaded thought of, "What if I screw it all up again?"

The desire for more of what God has for me is great within me, but I'm lost in knowing my next step. I just need to have the faith that as I wait and earnestly desire more of Him, He will in fact come to me and meet me where I am at right now. He doesn't wait for me to look, or be, a certain way. Regardless and in spite of my past, present or future, God is more than willing to come to me NOW. I think that's why I've been enjoying--and listening on repeat to, "You'll Come" by Hillsong. I love all of the lyrics, but I especially love the lines that says, "as surely as the sun will rise, You'll come to us, as certain as the dawn appears. You'll come, let Your glory fall as You respond to us.."!!! I love that and all that it means. He will come and He will respond to our desire for Him. Without a doubt we can count on the fact that HE WILL COME TO US. And my desire for more is beautiful in His eyes. I need not worry about the past or wonder if i'm doing enough in the present, I just need to give God the room to "come" in my life and He has everything planned out according to His good for my life.


1 Comments:

Blogger sarah said...

aah, so i've found you as well! yeah, blogging buddies... : )
love me some comments!
I will now post you on my links list baby.. that's the circle of trust you want to be in and vice versa. Now we just need to hang out!

September 17, 2008 at 11:26 PM  

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