Sulky Rae

because i've been frustrated, for lack of a better word, i have been quite pouty lately. i've chosen to ignore God and keep myself from Him. i guess you could say i've been punishing Him. and we all know, i'm only punishing myself and making it harder on me. anyway, so as i was saying, i've been pouty. i've just been frustrated and i don't want to hear about this goodness, when i'm having a difficult time seeing it. so a few days ago, i was sitting on my bed, while staring at my bible--as it was there taunting me. and i said out loud, literally, "F that. i'm not reading!" and i continued to go about my usualness. and as i paced about my room, ignoring, i finally gave in. i sat on my bed, grabbed my bible and said, "fine, i'm just going to open and read the first verse that pops out. but that's it. nothing else. do you hear me? one verse!!" and this is what i read....

"For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
Zephaniah 3:17

Hello!!!

and after reading that, i was reminded that even though i don't understand, God IS always present. and sometimes i just may not get to "know" or "understand" everything. but what matters is that i keep walking forward. and even in all the sh*t that doesn't make sense, He is still there to delight in me--even when i doubt Him, to calm me as my anxiety grows and to rejoice over me with a song.

i'm trying to get there!! until then, i'm just going to hold on to this verse.
and choose to trust in His goodness.