My heart is set...

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart!!

WHERE?

Down in my heart!!

Today I have been overwhelmed with joy and the absolute goodness of the Lord. He is so SO Good!!! Did I mention He was good? Literally all day I have been on a joy high. Even though there are still trials I have to journey, many things I don't understand and questions unanswered, one thing I know for sure...GOD IS GOOD! Whatever there is ahead I know that with God I'll never be alone. My full desire is to live a life of unashamed worship before the Lord. Does it mean it will be easy? NO! But, I don't want to hide who I am. A worshiper--and all that comes with it. The expression may unfold via dance, tears, song, laughter, pure unadulterated joy and maybe even silence. It's all a reflection of His heart. My desire is to not worry about what others think of my expression. Nor to copy any one else's. It's okay to live my life in full, colorful, sparkly expression of who He created me to be. He is such a good God and pleased with me. How can I not praise Him? How can I not? No matter the circumstance, good or bad. One thing is for sure, with Him, alone I will never be. Ever. He's with me and has given me an amazing family, who may not be biological but are family through and through. It's still a learning process for me. I have to fully abandon fear and fully accept who God has created me to be. Without compromise, without comparison. I'm finally in a place within myself where I am able to look at myself and say, "quit trying so hard to please everyone else! Be yourself. Live the dreams that God has for you alone." For a people pleaser that is hard. Is there a patch for that? You know, so I can dwindle down the need to please others so much that I look over myself; but more importantly my Loving God and Father. I'm learning everyday that the people in your life who truly love you, want for you to be who you are to the fullest. They don't abuse, they don't use, they don't expect you to seek after their needs. But rather, they hold your hand, run with you, laugh, cry and even speak the hard truth when needed. It gives me so much joy. Even in the suffering.

Since I've moved to Utah, God has been capturing my heart all over again. Wooing me. Loving me. Correcting me. What an amazing God! Seriously. The past week I've had an old school song in my heart. I express myself through song and thankfully God speaks to me through song. All week I've been singing an Old School, Reuban Morgan, Hillsong oldie but goodie.

"Lord, I give you my heart.

I give you my soul.

I live for you alone!"

Tonight as I was perusing youtube, I thought i'd look up that lovely song that always makes me smile; and I came across a recent Kristene Mueller-DiMarco version of the song. She recently sang it at Bethel where she now teaches and leads worship. It's a long one...but you won't be disappointed. I felt as if the team was in my head, reading the thoughts of mine this past week. So, to those who want to know how i'm REALLY feeling, push play, sit back and just listen. Worship if you must. Actually you won't be able to stop yourself because He truly is a beautiful, beautiful God!!

My heart is set on this one thing...it's your face God!!